"On the outside, she acts all tough, but it still gets to her," a source says
As his cheating scandal unfolds on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, old wounds are reopening — and a source tells PEOPLE that the reality star is still struggling to get over his indiscretions.
“Dealing with Tristan’s cheating has been very difficult for Khloé. When they have had good moments, she forgets about how hurt she got, but then when she gets reminded, she still gets upset,” the source says.
Her main priority is making sure their daughter True grows up feeling happy and supported by both her parents.
“On the outside, she acts all tough, but it still gets to her. But what it comes down to is that Khloé wants True to grow up in a family with both parents,” the source adds. “She wants True to spend as much time with her dad as possible. She believes that True needs a mom and dad in her life.”
As for their future, Kardashian is fine taking things one day at a time with Thompson.
“Khloé hates when people have opinions about her relationship with Tristan. She feels that she doesn’t need to explain to people why she makes certain decisions,” the source says. “It’s obvious there are issues, though. She doesn’t define her relationship with Tristan — she only talks about him as True’s dad.”
Kardashian reflected on his cheating scandal while Sunday night’s episode of KUWTK aired. The new mom tweeted back and forth with fans, candidly revealing the emotional struggle she went through as she grappled with the news.
In response to a fan who praised Kardashian, 34, for ultimately forgiving Thompson, 27, Kardashian admitted that reliving the difficult time was reigniting her initial anger.
“Hahaha baby, I’m about to get pissed again too! Lol you are talking me down,” she wrote, adding in a follow-up tweet that her heart was “racing.”
“So crazy how emotions never die!” she wrote. “You may forgive but forgetting is not possible.”
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Ultimately, Kardashian defended her decision to stand by Thompson, explaining why she allowed him to be present for the birth of their daughter on April 12.
“I wanted to have a beautiful birthing experience for myself and for the memories of what I choose to share with True when she’s older. I want her to have videos and pictures of her daddy there, holding her etc.” she said. “I want her to know she is LOVE and my happiness! Babies feel energy! I know this! I chose to put my feelings aside for the birth and to try and have as much positive energy that I could.”
“My only thought was about the birth of my daughter,” she continued. “I wasn’t going to let ANYONE disrupt anything less than what she deserved. Joyous love. I chose to be mature & strong for True. I waited for this day for so many years! I know now, looking back that I was in shock because I couldn’t believe that this would ever happen to me but I’m still very proud of myself for how I handled everything. True gave me the peace and strength I needed.”
As PEOPLE previously reported, Khloé decided to stay with Thompson, and they spent the summer as a family, rebuilding their relationship in Los Angeles. In recent weeks, however, the couple hit another rough patch.
According to a source, the new mom has been having a “really tough” time and “still has a lot of hurt and anger.”
“Khloé wants so badly for True to have a happy family,” the source said. “She wants to do what’s best for her daughter, and to her that means being with Tristan.”
But Khloé’s mom and sisters “aren’t happy” about her move back to Cleveland and “think she deserves better,” the source said. “They definitely don’t trust him.”